I have to admit that in this category, I won the lottery of life. I’ve got an older sister, then my brother, and then me. We are all two years apart. I am clearly the baby, daddy’s little girl, the one that everyone takes care of. It’s a pretty sweet deal if you can get it. They are my heroes. They are my cavalry.
Along with the excitement of my daughter’s engagement was some deeply buried fear at the thought of paying for what I wanted to be the most wonderful day of her life. No pressure, just make her a memory of a lifetime on the most important day of her life that she will tell my grandchildren about with joy and thanksgiving, wonder and amazement. Easy-pezy . Well, life has thrown us some bumps over the years and in another chapter we can talk about how amazingly we’ve always come out more than fine, but the bumps didn’t allow for one of those savings accounts that you cash in as the groom gets down on one knee providing a wad of money that is now going to pay for this wonderful event. There was a wad, a tiny wad, not sure I’d even call it a wad. But there was my challenge and I meet challenges head on. Something inside of me just doesn’t allow for any other response. I think it’s because I know I’ve got that cavalry I mentioned that always has my back.
Now a few more things about me – I love a good plan more than life itself, I have a few spreadsheets that are some of my best friends, and in another life (or maybe even later in this one) I would love to be a wedding planner. It pretty much puts everything I love into one big bucket of fun. So a little nervous yes, a lot determined to make this happen – definitely.
My sister had recently moved into a neighborhood that had quite the clubhouse, but a clubhouse. It had a bar, dance floor, piano, even a loft. It was quite the place. We had been eyeing it since she moved in (of course we had, we both are wannabe wedding planners). New Year's day, which was also the day after Kerby proposed we took Katie to show her the location as a reception possibility. As everyone was be-bopping around checking it out, a man appeared in the lobby. He had no way of knowing the challenges I had faced in the year prior (it had been a rough year for me), he didn’t know that I was about to embark on a year of finding a better more present me, but as I explained to him why we were there he looked at me and said with such passion and conviction, “you are going to have a great year, you are, I just know it” and like a character out of a movie he was then simply gone. I’ll never forget it. It’s like God sent someone down to me to speak those words to me out loud in that moment just as I needed to hear them. I couldn’t think of one good reason not to believe him.
So having settled on location, the months and months of non-stop planning began. This wasn’t going to be the wedding where we wrote the check and said make it happen. That would be too easy. It was so much sweeter than that. It was me planning every single detail down to the nth degree on a budget and with a wedding binder in hand. (Oh heck yes, I had a binder). Katie would tell me what she wanted and I would do my best to make it happen. There was no bridezilla in this story, no princess in the making. Katie and Kerby are not flashy, attention seeking, impress the world kind of people. They are grounded, loving, and faithful and would have gotten married at a back-yard barbecue and cared nonetheless.
As years have passed since the wedding I have lost track of the times my sister and I literally broke into the clubhouse to get a measurement or work on the layout one more time. She was my side-kick through it all. We’d laugh and plan and laugh some more. Who else would risk doing hard time for their nieces wedding? My poor husband spent hours again and again working with me on table seating. The width between the table to the chair to the chair behind the chair and it’s distance to its table was quite a puzzle and I panicked over how many people we could fit in the room on a daily basis. My father’s suggestion was adding high top tables for appetizers, my niece had the clever idea of outdoor lighting strung across the dance floor, my future son-in-law had carved centerpiece candle holders out of a tree, and my Mom at every turn was upgrading us in some way or another…. So much for the plastic plates provided by the caterer…
When we put a call out for mason jars to be used as water glasses we got more than enough as we cleaned them one dishwasher load after another. As I was discussing the bar setup with co-workers my friend volunteered she and her husband to tend bar for us. I convinced our pastor and worship leader to be the reception DJs because I knew there’d be no better duo – their first and maybe one and only gig, but they were pretty awesome at it. We were on our way to a great day.
The planning was relentless, exciting, exhausting, and so fun. We had rented the clubhouse for the weekend so that we had Friday to setup, Saturday was the wedding, and Sunday we’d clean up. I knew we were in for one exhausting weekend, but I could not wait. There was so much to do, but I knew what was about to happen and maybe with even as much excitement as the wedding itself I could not wait for that day before the wedding when it all finally came together. I knew my cavalry was coming. Not only were they coming, but they were coming with joy, energy, excitement, enthusiasm that never for one second did I underestimate.
One by one that Friday morning before the wedding they all showed up, my family, my heroes. The furniture was moved, the tables and chairs set up, the table tops prepared down to the tiniest detail, and the lights were strung over the dance floor. The piano was “carefully” relocated to allow for the perfect display table for the cake and desserts, the caterers were in the kitchen setting up their part, the pastor/sound guy/DJs were setting up lighting and checking the sound system, music was playing, and people were moving in so many directions that I couldn’t even keep up with each time my name was called. The tables that I just knew wouldn’t fit, well they fit. I remember turning around and realizing they were all in with so much excitement. My absolute biggest fear – simply squashed!
I gave my dad the bar to set up. I didn’t know exactly how that would all work out, but I knew that all I had to do was task him with it and it would happen. Somehow it would just happen. He studied the layout and thought and thought before setting everything up, made a run to Walmart, came back with tables and coolers and in no time it was set up in the most efficient and organized way. The bar was ready for business. It was perfect. I knew it would be. By mid-afternoon my best friend and her family arrived from New York. They helped us hang the table seating charts in a big family discussion of what would be the most perfect way. We are in no way biologically related, but she is family so she was there. Of course she was there. She was part of my cavalry and I am of hers.
My sister told me that my brother was recently talking about Katie’s wedding and said that the wedding was great, but that day before was awesome. He was right. That day, the day before, is the story I will tell my grandchildren. The wedding day was so full of love, but so was the day before.
On the day of the wedding the building that started out as a clubhouse was transformed into a beautiful reception hall. Family wedding pictures displayed on the walls, the dance floor lit up with soft lighting strung above, candles and flowers dawned the table tops and everything was simply perfect. The celebration was underway.
The day after the wedding in all of our exhaustion Jim and I ran into the pastor. He told us that he had performed and been to many weddings in his time, and we had done a great job. He said “I feel like you totally focused on what was important and didn’t focus on what was not”. I think he meant we focused on the love. It was overflowing, it was family it was about the cavalry. Turns out the big budget that I was so afraid of wasn’t at all what it was about. Might have even taken away some of the fun. Who knew? Shhhh, I knew...
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