My Baby Girl is Getting Married

Ashley is our second child. The one we planned to come two years after her big sister. Life took some turns and because I was exposed to Tuberculosis and had to take a year of antibiotics (the kind you do NOT get pregnant on) baby number two was delayed. I remember saying to the doctor, "what if I have my second child and THEN take the antibiotics" (because I did not have an active case). He politely told me I could then have two children with a very sick mother. Plan diverted. Four and half years after Katie was born, Ashley entered this world, our little family was complete, our lives were never the same. I'm realizing now when Katie said in her Matron of Honor speech that "Ashley was born early and that was the last time that happened"... that in fact... she was late then too, but that's my fault. I love you, Ashley.

I wrote Ashley a letter that I gave to her the day before her wedding. I had to so much to say (nothing new here) and I had to organize my thoughts on paper (again nothing new here) so I headed to Hunt Library (my favorite place to organize my thoughts) and I wrote her a letter.

My Ashley Caroline… aka Bashers…

You’re getting married. That little girl, that shook her booty to the spice girls, had strong opinions about what she wore from the age of one, and would not be cut in line by her gymnastic classmates as an itty bitty is all grown up. It feels like forever ago and will also always feel like yesterday. Your sister teases you about the funny smiles and teeth that didn’t start out quite straight enough (which I found adorable) but oh my goodness you have grown into a stunning young woman. You have a brain, a voice, and a heart and you are not afraid to use any of them. I am so proud of who you have become. You are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. That’s what makes you so special. You are my very favorite turtle.

We’ve navigated so much - sometimes at odds but always together. You and I approach things differently and can, at times, drive each other crazy, but together we were (still are and always will be) a force. Thank goodness for Google docs. HOW was that not a thing from 3rd grade on. Now you are a grown human with a very large dog, a degree, a job, a car, a car payment, a fiancé, and did I say very large dog. Look at you!

Our plan was not to have you live at home until you were 26. Nothing is more fun then being and adult child living at home with parents who can be annoying on a good day and had just gotten used to being empty nesters (thank you pandemic). To be honest, I wouldn’t have wanted you to want to be there. My hope is that you left feeling empowered and grateful rather than paroled and relieved. That may take some time, but that is my hope. I think for a bit you will feel paroled and relieved. For now, that is ok.

You are kind, patient, and insightful (you walk into the room knowing if something is wrong – very annoying). Not unlike your dad, you love the person in front of you where Katie and I want to save the world. Keep sticking up for the person in front of you (and Dad, because Mom can be a lot), we’ll keep sticking up for the world and together we’ll do good things. Who’d a thunk on so many occasions that we’d be the normal family. Now it’s time to create your own Freeman family version of normal!

I wish I was a hugger (I really do), a more patient listener (I really do), and had been a lot more relaxed in your younger years (I really do). I spent too much of our time vacuuming, hurrying you along, and trying to fix all the things. Those things probably needed to be done, but maybe not quite so much. I’m thankful for the way you force us to slow down, to say I love you (too) on a call, and your ability to take your time and not just rush on to the next thing. God put you into this family to teach us those things. Apologies that we are all such slow learners.

My hopes and dreams for you are so many -

I want you to always know God. To have him as a part of your every day. I want him to comfort you and watch over you. I want you to feel the comfort of that unwavering love that surrounds you always. I want you to invite “him” in.

My prayer is that you and Jonathan together will have a profound relationship with God. This is the foundation of a marriage that will stand the test of time. If your motivation is to care for each other as the hands and feet of God, the hard times will always be worth powering through.

I want you to understand the power of putting your hopes and dreams out into the universe giving intentional positive thoughts to the endless possibilities that await you. If I had to make sure you knew one thing, that would be it. You will attract what you open your heart and mind to. Intentionally do this, as often as you can, even out loud and pay attention to what happens. That energy will have a powerful effect on your life.

I want you to save, give, live within your means, and be grateful. This sometimes requires patience. Remember, it’s just a math problem. Never have Dad and I given to others and went without as a result. Never. It comes back to you two-fold. It’s that whole energy thing. Remember to give, you have so much.

When you have a bad day, take a shower and go to bed. Things always look better the next day. Go to bed mad. It’s ok. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.

As we plan for the wedding and I pull out the notebook and the budget (that I’m constantly referring to), know that every penny spent, every moment invested is so worth it. We are planning for the one big day but it is so much more than that. It’s so much joy, fun, and family time together gathering, planning, celebrating. It’s not money spent on a dress that you will only wear for a few hours or the table placement at the venue, or what kind of food is served, it’s the joyful times together planning, dreaming, and even picking out the napkins (that are coming in 5-7 business days). It’s the texts and Facetiming and the multiple trips to Apex. It all leads up to the most wonderful day that begins the most wonderful life - together. Let’s be sure to treasure every minute of it.

Love Jonathan with all of your heart and soul, but also sometimes have frozen pizza for dinner.

Now, go marry the boy, but come home often.

We miss you when you are gone.

I love you baby girl.

I’m so thankful to be your mom every single day.

Now it’s time for a Stellabration!

-Love you to the moon and back,

Mom