Each morning on my way to work I pull out of my neighborhood and immediately take a quick right turn into the church that sits not even a mile from my home. There in the parking lot - in my car - alone - with no distractions I pray.
I've tried many different prayer practices. Pray while I run, I get distracted. Pray at home, I get interrupted. Pray when I get in bed, I fall asleep. It's the time of day when I'm awake, my mind is alert, there are zero interruptions. I don't like to talk in the mornings, but my brain is ON so I've found this just works. I pull out my phone, open up my notes and there I have written my daily prayers. I know, I'm weird. But remember I told you earlier, I write everything down! I find that my mind wanders so writing down my prayers keeps me focused.
For me, Prayer can be so simple in some ways, yet so very complicated at the same time.
On those quiet mornings sitting in my car, I often just want to ask God for everything that I think I need, but I wrestle with knowing that in reality I have everything - So. Much. More. - than everything! And it’s because of this that I often find myself in a debate with God instead of in prayer.
I like the idea of handing my worries over to God. The visual image I use is literally laying a piece of paper with my concerns written on them in God’s inbox and letting them go (that is the admin in me). Those concerns are with God now. Move on. It’s quite cut and dry. If only…..
On the flip side I feel called to pray often if not continuously, but I think that’s probably more the impatient part of me that wants to make sure I’m heard and wants resolution now. I suspect that God often hears my prayers and rolls his eyes - at my lack of ability - to see where he’s already met my needs, where he’s taken me, where he’s taking me, and especially what I’m supposed to be learning along the way. My prayers so often repeat themselves and I wonder - am I letting go, am I truly giving my worries to God, am I praying for the right things, am I paying attention?
But… what if prayer isn’t at all about asking things of God or telling him my concerns, but much more about connecting with God, inviting him in, releasing my junk, and giving the control that I think - only I have - back to him.
I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, (insert apology to my pastoral friends here) but I’ve often sat in church meetings wondering why we have to open and close each meeting with prayer. I’ve always assumed silently in my mind that we were doing it because, well, it’s church and that’s what we are supposed to do. I've told you, I’m a true Type 1 on the Enneagram and I’m always thinking inside, “we’ve got things to do, let’s get going people”. Do we really need God to bless us as we decide how to get more volunteers on Sunday?
But, like I’ve said - I’m working to get to a new place with thing called prayer and I’m beginning to realize that in just taking that simple moment to invite God in - changes things. To honor his presence before star
ting a meeting, getting down to business, before getting down to life, is a reminder to us that in that moment and every moment we must pause to invite God in.
I’m learning that I should never be so busy and focused that I fail to see the value in literally taking the time to invite God into everything I’m doing - seeking his presence, his guidance, his direction. It’s all part of prayer.
I truly believe that when we open our minds, our hearts, our souls to what the world, what the universe has to offer - giving positive thoughts to the endless possibilities - that then - the atmosphere changes, the energy changes, everything changes. We then begin to attract what God wants for us in our lives because we have opened our hearts to it and because we have made room for it. We have made room for him.
Some days I get that, and it feels so easy and that connection all by itself brings me peace. Other days, I still find myself back to wrestling with exactly how this darn prayer thing is going to change things. But it is only when I stop, when I invite him in --- that I feel his presence. If I’m being honest, sometimes when I’m gathered with others in prayer, I don’t even listen to the words being said. I simply put this visual image in my mind of God with his arms around all of us like a huddle before a football game and I repeat to myself “invite him in”. It’s a start, its still challenging, but I’m getting there. I keep reminding myself, it’s not rocket science…. For the love of God (literally) just invite him in.
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