It was mid-January when Roscoe (the very sweet three-legged Labrador rescue) greeted us at their door with a BIG BROTHER bandana and the news that a baby was coming! I was so happy for Katie and Kerby, happy for all of us, surprised… but not super surprised. Simultaneously I honestly felt a little unsettled and unsettled that I felt unsettled. Grandma… me? Aren’t I only 35 or at least not that far from 35? (Reality check – I’m 56) This concept was going to take a little getting used to. I knew I was going to love this child to the moon and back, but GRANDMA? Really? Me? Weird.
Katie and Kerby wanted to celebrate together with all of their people and that’s just what we did. A couple’s shower with all of their family and friends. It was perfect. We did the pregnancy photos, we prepared the nursery, we got all the shots and vaccine boosters, we wore masks and worked from home in the days leading up to the birth (our new post-2020 reality). We did all the things as the day drew closer.
In the early days of her pregnancy while we were on an afternoon run, I remember saying that I was sad, in this day of covid, that we couldn’t all be at the hospital pacing the floor while Katie was in labor, waiting for the announcement that the baby had arrived. Her response was “oh no, we get to have two people – you and Kerby” … I also remember thinking to myself “just keep running”. Do not ask any more questions, just keep running. In my mind I was saying, “Kerby and ME?” … What do you mean exactly by ME? Me pacing the waiting room floor? Me in the room? ME AT THE BIRTH? But I just kept running. I was pretty sure I would know the answer to that before I actually needed to. That was early on… that was the spring. The baby wasn’t coming until the fall. I kept my questions quiet and to myself. Within the final weeks of the pregnancy, I figured I needed to get some clarification. I told Katie that she needed to let all of us know what her expectations were. Where did she want us to be and when. Did she want hospital visitors, did she want meals, did she want visitors at home? What did she want from me? I remember telling her I’d be there for as much or as little as they wanted me. My plan was to sit quietly to the side unless they needed absolutely anything. Somewhere in that conversation I got clarification that I’d be in the room. Any early on anxiety had now become all out anticipation.
I think I might describe Katie as a mini-me, but a me who had her stuff together much earlier on in life. That was never more obvious than leading up to and in delivery. She and Kerby had a plan and a playlist. They had done their research. They were ready. Their plan was executed to be the most beautiful perfect birth one could imagine. With a delivery scheduled for “the 21st day of September” (yep the song and yep the song that played at their wedding and yep our "family" favorite song - yep! I told you - perfect.)
Katie and Kerby left for the hospital the evening of the 20th with plans to induce. We texted throughout the night with the plan that I’d arrive before the sun came up to be there in plenty of time. I’m pretty sure I slept in ten-minute intervals all night checking my phone constantly for updates. I arrived at the hospital just after 5am to a dark room where they both were sleeping. Katie woke up shortly after and we waited. Things naturally progressed and about 3pm it was time. As the room was being prepared and the nurses and doctor were getting in position, Kerby and I were figuring out where we would stand. All had been so calm up until those moments before, but it was clearly GO time. My body began almost shaking. With every fiber of my being, I could feel the amazing life altering event that was about to happen. Within moments this beautiful little human with a head FULL of hair had entered the world to a joyful room with music playing and overwhelming excitement. Just like that our family had grown by one right in front of my eyes. Mona Mills Olive was here!
I will never forget the look on their faces as Katie and Kerby saw their baby girl for the first time. Being there at the second of her birth as my granddaughter entered the world and as my daughter became a mom is a memory I take with me into eternity.
Fast forward a few months and Jim and I are all but settled into this life as Grandma and Grandpa. We see this little baby girl on a regular basis, her smile lights up our lives, and she fills a spot in our family we didn’t even know was there to be filled, but we know now was always meant to be hers. Exactly hers.
I'm not sure much thought was put into what to call my grandmother. Grandmothers were grandma - that's just how it was. I can't tell you how many times I have been asked what I will be called. We gave my Mom the name Granny almost as a joke. She was so young to be a grandma that it was almost funny to call her Granny, but she is now the granny to seven grandchildren and the name stuck. Granny at this point is just who she is. Mona is now three months old and still I wonder if Grandma is the right name. I suspect one day it will also just be who I am. I sometimes think the jury is still out. Time will tell.
I think about my grandmother almost every day even now. She was such a big part of my childhood and even into my early adulthood. I remember sleepovers just for fun, calling her after school to tell her about my day sometimes getting a busy signal when she’d take the phone off the hook to take a nap (Google it – it was a thing). I remember driving to her house with my friends to have an afternoon snack, spending Thanksgiving with her just after my grandfather had died so that she wouldn’t be alone, showing her my wedding dress days before my wedding, calling her on the phone so that she could listen to my girls say their first words. The relationship between and Grandmother and a Granddaughter is a special one. I’m still so not used to the word “Grandma” yet, but I also can’t imagine being anything else other than Mo’s grandma. I don’t want to rush a second of it away and I’m already afraid it’s going too fast.
Right now, we just hold her, feed her, burp her, wipe her spit, change her diaper, and cheer her on as she starts to lean to one side anticipating the first roll over, but we’ve got so much more to do. She won’t remember these days, but we surely will never forget them!
We’re going to make a lifetime of memories together baby girl. We are so thankful you are here!
-Love,
Grandma?
Being grateful is learning how to be nostalgic about the moment you are in right now.
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