It was early February when Ashley’s boyfriend started talking about a virus spreading in China. Jonathan pays attention more than most and we were not paying attention at all. In early March it was beginning to catch a little momentum on the evening news. Not many days later Ashley commented that Jonathan was suggesting they not go to class. It was becoming dangerous he thought – because of the virus. Ashley and I had similar reactions -not go to class? You can’t not go to class. That’s just irresponsible. We left a few days later for a trip to Atlanta to visit my brother's family and see his new home. We left on Ashley’s first day of spring break. She was excited for a week away from campus. Ashley never went back to class….
When we left that Friday, my company had scheduled the following Wednesday as a work from home day. The entire company was to work from home. We would test our business continuity plan. We would make sure that if we had to work from home we could. We never had that test. We returned home from Atlanta on Sunday and on Tuesday we were told to take everything home that we would need for the foreseeable future. I think most of us were thinking a couple of weeks… weeks would turn into months; months would turn into almost two years. Covid-19 was here, and it was not going away. The picture above is of my coworker, Wayne, packed up and heading home. He's opted to stay home when, eventually, campus finally re-opened, and like so many others he never returned to working in the office. This was the beginning of a new era in the corporate world. People sold their homes and moved to the beach, the mountains, anywhere they wanted. If we learned anything, it was that remote working was the new norm and many could live anywhere they wanted, not necessarily within ear shot of their company offices.
I have a memory of someone saying, if you write – you should be writing about this. For me I had nothing to write about. Even the place I go to write (Hunt Library) was closed. I pretty much put my pen/laptop down for over a year. I need to leave the house to write. That was not an option. I also write as I grow and there was no growth happening. At least none that I could identify at the time. I was not being fed therefore I had nothing to say. The little I did write I was going to rewrite when I came across it in my notes, but I think instead I’ll copy, paste, and leave it as I found it….
While in Atlanta eating dinner at a restaurant, we weren't giving the virus more than a passing thought. That quickly changed. We came home on Sunday, by Wednesday it felt like the country had basically shut down. Schools were closed, church was closed, businesses were closed. Kids were being told to pack their belongings and come home from universities around the country and those studying abroad scrambled for flights back to the US while they could still get back. Restaurants, museums, playgrounds, even Broadway has closed. Weddings are being postponed! Our great trip out west… I just never thought the virus would affect an outdoor trip like that, but airlines and cruises had shut down and eventually so did the National Parks. Our great trip to hike the canyon. Gone. At least for now. The town was so shut down that Katie took a photo of me running down the middle of Salem street. No cars out. Where would anyone go?
You can get gas and some groceries, but some items are totally unavailable and others fly off the shelf. Toilet paper, paper towels, tissues, hand sanitizer, cleaning products… gone. If you can find those items, you are limited in the quantity. We have come to a place where we were rationing toilet paper. Zoom is now the way to gather with family and friends. It is not safe to gather in person.
Fast forward to today, June 12th 2020. I think the word that might describe me best right now is restless. I’m not sure what is right to do, where is it ok to go, what is ok to do. I think in March I was shocked, April I felt guilty (I was able to pivot and work from home on my beautiful back porch in the springtime not sick and none of my loved one's sick). In May I was bewildered, and now I’m restless (and still feeling guilty).
Things I miss terribly - family, in-person worship, interaction with community, routine.
My biggest disappointment is Ashley’s graduation. She’ll never get to walk across that stage, cap on her head, diploma in her hand. She worked harder than anyone for that! High school proms, high school graduations, college commencement all cancelled.
Things that scare me – working from home. Fear and anxiety that I will lose the muscle for a full work week. Change is hard for me.. I need routine and I don’t pivot well. I miss driving to work and stopping at the church for some private prayer time. I miss my commute, my co-workers, my separation of work and home. It’s so hard but others have lost so much more. Others have lost people they love. Others have lost their job or their business. Others will now be long haulers that might feel the effects of Covid in their bodies for years to come. So much is yet to know. That in and of itself is scary.
Things that I started doing - Porch pictures… photography from a distance. It got me out with my camera, and it gave my clients a reason to get dressed and be seen (from more than zoom call view).
The world I don’t think will ever be the same post Covid – if post Covid ever becomes a thing. Jonathan began talking to us about this in February of 2020. It is now September of 2022. If you choose to be you are now vaccinated so the hospitals are not full of dying people, but the virus – is still everywhere. You are more likely now to suffer from what feels like a mild flu or bad cold. The current variants are not as severe, but I suspect more contagious. Turns out science is a thing (I never doubted that) and the vaccines are constantly being updated in an attempt to stay ahead of the next variant. It’s really pretty incredible how quickly the first vaccines became available, but not in time for so many. I shake my head at the privilege so many Americans take for granted. My friend from Scotland said, “you can’t tell Americans what to do” and she is right. We are so lucky to have vaccines and medicine at our disposal yet so many turn their nose up at it and refuse to get it. Next week the new booster comes out. I will be first in line, and I will be grateful. This chapter is far from written and I could write so much more, but at least the world had finally opened back up again. The virus is still with us, but the worst is over for now...
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