If you ask Siri to define joy as a noun. She will reply, “The emotion of great happiness or pleasure deriving from a feeling of contentment and well-being”. Ok that’s nice and accurate I guess, but not what I was looking for. Scrolling down a little further and almost out of site was the definition Joy in the form of a verb. It said one simple word, “Rejoice”. Now that’s what I’m talking about. Doesn’t that word alone make your heart want to smile?
Two weeks before Katie’s wedding we received a call that my mother-in-law wasn’t doing very well. Her health was failing. She had struggled quietly for some time with so many ailments, but her heart and her breathing were starting to become unmanageable. There was not much at this point that the doctors could do for her. My immediate reaction to that news was No, No, No! Not now. Not before the wedding. She had fought this battle way too long to lose it now.
Early on when I was a twenty-something and sure that I knew it all we were not the closest mother and daughter-in-law, but Katie was a bond between us that could not be broken. Back up twenty-two years to when Katie was born... For the first two years of Katie's life I worked full-time and Grammy watched her every moment that I was in the office. Five days a week I would drop her off about 7:45 and return to get her just after 5. I’m not sure when, if at all, as we entered their home each morning the excitement of this baby girl's arrival ever diminished for both my mother and father-in-law (aka Grammy and Poppy). So for Grammy, this wedding was second only to her own daughter’s wedding almost 30 years earlier.
I was confused by the news of her heath because just a week before Jim and I were down visiting them. They had moved a couple of hours away just after Katie's second birthday to enjoy retirement by the beach. We had the most wonderful visit, quite possibly the best visit ever. We talked endlessly about the wedding plans, reviewing my itinerary (of course I had an itinerary), discussing every detail of how the weekend would go. We went out to dinner and I will never ever forget how this woman that could hardly breathe without her oxygen managed to blow the wrapper off of her straw and across the table hitting Jim square in the face. She laughed out loud at her precise accuracy. It was pretty darn good shot. After dinner we were settled back into their house when Grammy figuratively leapt from her chair with an announcement. “I will put a large white bow on her mailbox the day of the wedding. That is what I will do. That is what I can do!” She had figured out how she could participate and she was so excited. That big beautiful bow would be how she would rejoice. I’m certain she had been working quietly and tirelessly for some time to figure out how she could play a role in the big day. Her health wouldn’t allow her to do much, but she was going to be an active participant.
Two weeks later the wedding was upon us. Miraculously Grammy had rebounded somewhat. Nothing was going to stop her from being there. She was literally living for this day. With oxygen at her side and the assistance of a wheelchair, she was ready for the big event.
Hours before the ceremony Jim and Grammy drove to the house where Katie and her husband would live following their honeymoon. Poppy had purchased two of the most beautiful big white bows he could find for her and she carefully placed them one on the mailbox and one on front gate of their white picket fence in front of their soon to be home. I'm so thankful that moment was captured in a photograph. The picture of that moment is a reminder of her joy! Joy being a verb and it means rejoice. She was rejoicing. The happiest people don’t have the best of everything – they just make the best of everything they have. That’s exactly what she was doing and it was evident on that day.
It might seem impossible at times that we can find joy in almost every situation, but I think it is always available to us. It is where God lives and where he waits for us. Be a grateful participant in the life you are given, step into that role, show up. That’s where you find it. That's where the joy is. Noone else on earth can play that part in your story. Nobody else on that day could have been Katie’s Grammy.
Mid-way through the reception my mother went over to Grammy and having had enough of the loud music offered to take her outside for a bit to enjoy some quiet. She thanked my mom and graciously declined. Her response, “I don’t want to miss a minute of this” and she didn’t! It wasn't easy, but she didn't.
Three weeks after katie's wedding Grammy passed away, but oh the memories that she took with her so fresh in her mind. The joy of watching her Katie marry her one true love. Joy as a verb, she was rejoicing!
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